Let's start here:
"When perfection is driving, shame is riding shotgun!" said someone very wise.
Esthetics is defined as the philosophical theory or set of principles governing the idea of beauty at a given time and place: a particular individual’s set of ideas about style and taste, along with its expression: one’s set of principles or worldview as expressed through outward appearance, behavior, or actions. (Thank you Mr. Webster.)
In 1997 I began a twenty-three-year career as a Licensed Esthetician, working with women’s skin issues. I had already finished a twenty plus year career in a government job, and I was forty-three years old when I entered esthetics training to get my license. To qualify for an esthetics license required 650 hours of training. The other ladies in my class could have been my daughters. And of course, most of them had never seen a wrinkle on their face. Bless their hearts! But we had a wonderful time together in class. The other factor, that in the end actually turned out to be an asset, I had suffered as a teenager and adult with severe cystic acne. I had the scars to prove it.
Over the years I completed an extensive list of training in cutting edge skincare services, products and techniques. Working as an Esthetician was one of the most rewarding and enjoyable experiences of my life. I particularly enjoyed the interaction with my clients and helping them with their skincare needs. I retired from offering services when COVID hit. I found it impossible to perform any services on someone’s face while either one of us was wearing a mask. For quite a while I mourned the loss of my business and my focus. It was not an easy thing to go through, and I know many people had to face and navigate similar issues or much more devastating consequences than I faced. After a while I got my bearings, and my ship became upright again. But, what is my point anyway?
In 2016 statistics showed that the beauty industry was a $545 billion dollar industry worldwide. My guess - it’s much more by now. On any given day, the average woman uses at least sixteen beauty products in her beauty and grooming regime. An average shopping trip for a woman for beauty products totals approximately $100. With those facts, we should belong to a network of extremely beautiful women who are confident about their appearance. Right?
This is a sad but often true picture of how we see ourselves:
In the morning, a woman spends time doing her hair and makeup, choosing her clothing, and looks in the mirror and says, “I look terrible – my ________ is too _______, and I wish I was_________er. She walks out the door feeling flawed and “less than” someone she compares herself to.
In the morning, a man gets up, combs his hair, shaves, and brushes his teeth, looks in the mirror and says – I look great, and walks out the door. (Yes, this is a general observation, but probably true in many cases.)
The Image of the Lie
If you have issues with your physical appearance, or issues with how you feel about your looks emotionally, I recommend the book You Are Not What You Weigh” by Lisa Bevere. I read this book years ago, and it made a significant impact on my feelings about my body. There is a chapter in the book called "The Image of the Lie" page 27, that just laid my heart open to the truth. (The book is not just about weight, so anyone can learn from her insights.)
Because of copyright laws, I cannot include her exact words, but it goes something like this:
What is the image of the truth and the image of the lie? Who is deciding what defines beauty? (It changes every few months anyway.) Advertisements and media tell us we are always way below the mark of reaching the current standards. The image we worship is a facade of body parts that are not attainable as a whole for most women.
Bevere talks about the danger of thinking this image is who and what we should strive to look like. She describes body parts that we are shown we must have to be beautiful, and most of them are not how ours look. But yet we gaze at the pictues in awe. Young women get inspired by them, and older women get depressed. (Thank you Lisa for your work in this book.)
So, how do we cope and feel comfortable with ourselves? We switch who and what we are worshipping.
I heard someone say that after you reach 40, you become invisible to the world. IF that is true for most of us, then try passing 50 or 60 without slowing down. We do what we can and patch up the media defined as unlovely parts with products and gadgets made up of empty promises. Someone has created just the perfect solution - after all, its only money isn't it?We continue to function as if we are watching a Bob Ross how to paint video and trying to make our picture look like his. Frustration, anger, depression and giving up are options, but we can create our own beautiful picture with the right thoughts.
Where does the right picture come from? The right thoughts?
Say this twice: “The fashioners of an image – all of them are emptiness, and the things they delight in cannot profit." Isaiah 44:9 RHM
After the “Me Too” movement began and the push for equality for all (which I do not dispute or consider wrong) women of all colors, shapes and sizes began to appear in media advertisements. My personal belief is that the pendulum has swung way too far in the opposite direction, and many women are often making themselves look like cheap, garish, way over done and out of the box images just to attract attention to their unique beauty. Bra, deoderant, and underwear commercials (yes after a certain age we all need pee-proof underwear) are showing us more than we need to see of any woman’s body, no matter whether we see it as perfect or flawed.
What is the answer? “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So, you must honor God with your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT)
We as women are all unique and beautiful. There are special qualities about each of us. The push for equality for women and the definition of beauty are two different issues.
True beauty doesn’t require us to display our breasts with barely any coverage, or pump up our lips and rear ends, or draw on eyebrows until we look like clowns. For that matter, the push for equality should definitely not require that either.
True beauty, the truth about beauty, should mean that we are learning to become authentic, to discover who we really are as women and human beings, and, OK, also to enhance our natural beauty - not to turn our natural beauty into an unlovely joke. Think about it, we all know someone who is beautiful, but not according to an advertising budget.
Do you want to be unique, beautiful, and confident? Try asking yourself the following questions, spend some deep time in the answers. Pray and ask God for His input. Journal your thoughts and then take whatever time you need to implement in your life what you find as truth I think you will find the answer you seek, and the image you desire to present.
What does being authentic mean to me?
Who and what is my authentic self?
What does being unique mean to me?
What are my personal beliefs that drive my choices? What do I believe and hold true?
What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses?
What type of woman do I want to present to the world?
What would living a life true to who I am and what I believe look like?
Focus on these two thoughts every day:
Do something every day to improve, beautify and ennoble the life that Christ has purchased with His own blood.
Ellen White, Ministry of Healing – page 490
He calls me beautiful one. Song of Soloman, 2:10
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