Has anyone ever counted coup on you? They have on me, probably many times I don’t even know about, but the most recent one disturbed my peace for quite a while.
Per my friend Wik I. Pedia, here is the definition of Counting Coup:
“Among the Plains Indians of North America, counting coup is the warrior tradition of winning prestige against an enemy in battle. It is one of the traditional ways of showing bravery in the face of an enemy and involves intimidating him, and, it is hoped, persuading him to admit defeat without having to kill him.”
Another definition – “to get close enough to the enemy to touch them without getting injured or killed.” My sometimes definition – passive aggressive behavior.
We live on about 2 acres, and I jokingly call it “the compound”. On the northeast side of the compound is a bed of gorgeous succulent plants named Euphorbia Rigida (aka Gopher Spurge - they can keep gophers away – yay). They resided here before us. I really enjoy the texture and various green colors they show in early spring. Plus, they require little attention and generally grow independent of any gardening hacks. On the southwest side of the compound, I planted some mint to try and keep the deer at bay. I put a circle of large rocks around the mint patch and when they show they give lovely fragrance to the whole corner.
The two plants were on opposite corners of the compound. One morning last spring I headed out to clean out the mint patch. In the middle of the patch was sitting a glass jar with dirt and one of the Gopher Spurge plants in it. A strange and creepy feeling came over me. How did that get there? I asked my neighbors up front, who are generally the only ones who come onto our compound to get to their water gate. It was not them, and I’m sure that was true.
Who? It must have been a certain person in my neighborhood who considered us their enemy. (Long story about how that happened, and not one for my telling.) He obviously had come onto the compound, dug up the succulent and moved it in a jar to the mint patch. He left it in the jar so we would know it had been done. It had to have been done at night because I don’t think he had enough courage to do it in the daytime. Too many neighbors could have seen. I threw “the counted coup” into the trash where it belonged.
It made me think of the time in the Bible when David (soon to be King David) was hiding in a cave, and Saul (the current king who had decided David was his enemy) came into the cave. Saul went in to relieve himself. Without being seen, David went up and cut off a piece of Saul’s robe, but did not harm him. (You can read the verse below the blog if you are interested – 1 Samuel 24)
But David felt he had done wrong, and he tried to show Saul that he had chosen not to avenge himself or harm Saul, that he was not against him. Later it became clear Saul was not having any of the peace-making attempts from David. Saul had harbored incorrect thoughts about David being his enemy. It was to Saul's final detriment.
Who is our neighbor? Who is our enemy?
A neighbor is not a geographical location. A neighbor is anyone we come in contact with. Every day we must decide how we will treat our neighbor, the image of God that is standing before us. Remember, everyone was created in the image of God. Some days are easier than others to choose the right thing. And often the unloving choice we make comes back to say hello – ouch!
An enemy? I do my best to remember that anyone trying to harm or intimidate me is acting through the prompting of the real enemy of everyone - the one who comes to steal and to kill. The one who does everything in his limited power (limited in his case is pretty significant but not supreme) to cause you to sin against God or your neighbor. His goal is to kill and destroy our lives, our families, and our connection to Jesus.
He even causes us to sin against ourselves by whispering lies, untrue and harmful ideas, into our ear. Thoughts like “you are never going to be OK, you are never going to succeed, you are weak, you are stupid, no one likes you, there’s no hope, you continue to make mistakes, you are too old to make a difference, and the worst of all – God does not love you” can cause us to experience any number of feelings that we act upon. Among these feelings are often depression, worthlessness, hopelessness, fear, anxiety and the idea that no one cares for us.
I know about all of those feelings. I’m sure you do too. How do we stand a chance against such an evil and fierce enemy?
Our thoughts create our feelings. How you think about a certain situation (and I might add also about yourself) creates how you feel. Are your thoughts true, and right? Our feelings cause us to react, to make the choice to be a neighbor or an enemy. Our actions, and how we react, create our character. We either become kind and loving, or we become bitter and unhappy. Our character creates our destiny. What road are you on?
You can see from these five steps – thoughts > feelings> actions> character> destiny, that it is vitally important to start or continue your journey with the right first step – our thoughts.
How do we recognize wrong or harmful thoughts? Any thoughts that cause the feelings described above and that can hurt us or another, are incorrect or Satan whispered thoughts. Our thoughts follow familiar routes. We must have the right standard to measure our thoughts. A crooked ruler will not help us draw a straight line.
After half of my life was spent trying to make the wrong standard - a crooked ruler - fix my thoughts and feelings, I came to understand and believe that God’s word is the only standard I can trust. I tried everything I could think of to get myself together – astrology, numerology, feng shui, meditation, past life regression therapy, biofeedback therapy, self-help books lining my shelves, eastern philosophies, and different types of therapy. Unfortunately, I was still “me” when it was all said and done. But it was a version of me I didn’t like or want to be.
Alcohol, tobacco, pot, speed, cocaine and pain pills were always among my choices to stop the incorrect thinking. Of course, we know how well that works long term.
We cannot rise above ourselves while using ourselves as the correct standard of measurement. Proverbs 14 shows: “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy. (10) There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end, it leads to death. Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief (12-13) The fear (respect) of the LORD is a fountain of life, turning a person from the snares of death (27).”
As a favorite pastor of mine (Ty Gibson) said – “it doesn’t matter how many splits you can do in Yoga, it doesn’t change your heart.” And positive affirmations are great, as long as you aren’t taking the credit for your own ability to fix your heart. “I have the power to become…” Only God’s Spirit and His Word working in our hearts and minds can change us.
God’s Word heals us. “He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind.” Psalm 107: 20-21. I believe this is talking about two Words – the Holy Bible and Jesus Christ as “the Word”. See John 1:14. God put on a flesh garment to come and live among us and show us true healing.
My neighbor decided we were his enemy. Saul decided David was his enemy, and his thoughts lead to his ruin. “For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7, NKJV.
Do you want peace from whatever thoughts you have that are causing you to be anxious, insecure and unhappy? Use the correct standard of measurement.
Go to the Word – both of them!
ACTION NOTE: Create 2 columns on a page. 1) How I feel about: 2) What God's word says about: Write out the harmful unhappy feelings you are having. Find texts in the Bible that are promises and correct ways of thinking about how God sees you, what He plans for you, what He is doing for you. When the lies come into your mind, refer to the truths you found in God's word. Speak them into your own ears. Use God's promises to make the enemy shut up. Interrupt and re-direct your wrong thoughts to the correct ones.
The story of David and Saul in the Cave.
I Samuel 24.
24 After Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, “David is in the Desert of En Gedi.” 2 So Saul took three thousand able young men from all Israel and set out to look for David and his men near the Crags of the Wild Goats.
3 He came to the sheep pens along the way; a cave was there, and Saul went in to relieve himself. David and his men were far back in the cave. 4 The men said, “This is the day the Lord spoke of when he said to you, ‘I will give your enemy into your hands for you to deal with as you wish.’” Then David crept up unnoticed and cut off a corner of Saul’s robe.
5 Afterward, David was conscience-stricken for having cut off a corner of his robe. 6 He said to his men, “The Lord forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the Lord’s anointed, or lay my hand on him; for he is the anointed of the Lord.” 7 With these words David sharply rebuked his men and did not allow them to attack Saul. And Saul left the cave and went his way.
8 Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. 9 He said to Saul, “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? 10 This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ 11 See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. 12 May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. 13 As the old saying goes, ‘From evildoers come evil deeds,’ so my hand will not touch you.
What a lesson! I need the Bible to give me right thoughts, putting me on the right path. Thank you!